The Temporary Switch
by Hawk-Hotlips
Summary: Hawkeye and Margaret and the rest of the bunch have to suffer when the Nurses go away for a week and male nurses learn the job. Please R&R!
1. The Problem

1The Temporary Switch By: Hawk&Hotlips

_A/N: I don't own any MASH characters except the ones no one recognizes. _

Lt. Col. Henry Blake is on the phone AGAIN for the millionth time trying to figure out what I Corp is saying.

"Yes, I realize that...No I don't mind, sir, but...It's a fine program...I'm not sure how everyone will react...I mean we have the best ones around...That's not what I meant, sir...When will they be here?...Tomorrow? Hello? Hello?" The phone lines went out AGAIN of course. It's hard to talk when that happens.

Radar, who heard everything from the other phone rushes in once Henry's off the phone.

"Sir, I heard what happen and I want you to know that I fully stand by you no matter what you feel, Sir."

"Listening on the phone again Radar? Oh, well at least you were the first to know."

"Know what, Sir?"

"About the Nurses."

"The Nurses, Sir?"

"You know, the people who assist the doctors, all women, the Head Nurse is having an affair with Major Burns?"

"Right, the Nurses. What about them, Sir?"

"You told me you heard everything."

"Well, almost everything."

"How much is almost?'

"I got on when I heard you agreeing?"

"So you agree with me, Radar?

"What exactly is this about?"

"Well, General Hank wants us to train a bunch of male nurses while our women nurses are being taught about new procedures."

"Oh...Sir, one question."

"What Radar?"

"How are you gonna break it to Cpt. Pierce and Cpt. McIntyre?"

"Yes, Radar, I was hoping you would tell them personally. I'll tell everyone else."

"Me, Sir?"

"Yes, you Radar."

"They're sleeping."

"Well, wake them up."

"The last time I tried to, Cpt. Pierce nearly bit my hand off!"

"Why?"

"He thought it was a Nurse's button."

"Well, be defensive."

"How do I tell them, Sir?"

"Try getting on their good side."

"How do I do that, Sir?"

"Try being nice to them. Call them by their first name."

Radar, not wanting to miss a note, grabs a pad of paper and a pencil

"Anything else, Sir?"

"You might want to get a pad and pencil...Oh."

"When you wake them up, get them what they want."

"What–" Radar gets interrupted by the office door slamming open by a steaming, yet sleepy Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper McIntyre.

Hawkeye starts a rant by saying, "How can you do this, Henry? All of the Nurses get transferred? For how long? I can't believe you did such a thing!"

Trapper adds with a, "Do you know how much those Nurses mean to us? They're our favorite part of the whole war! Why would you, of all people, someone who can't ignore a Nurse yourself agree to this?"

"If I do this program, it means I get a lot of points towards home! Maybe I'll be gone within a couple of months."

"Just exactly how long is this switch?"

"About a week."

"How can it be 'About a week'? Either it's a week or it's not!"

"Alright, it's a week. Dismissed."

Angry as ever, Hawkeye who always has to get the last word in murmurs, "It better be a week."


	2. Margaret's Response

1Ten hundred hours, two hours after Hawkeye and Trapper found out this startling, yet not surprising predicament. Margaret, this time found out and she barges in on Henry...in the shower.

"Colonel! I want to see you for a minute!" Margaret shouts as she gets close to Henry's stall.

"Two more steps, Major and that's not all you will do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Don't tell me 'Nothing'! I know what you meant! All of you men are sick, with your sick ideas and you expect everyone else to be the same way! That's sick!"

"What was it that you wanted, Major?"

"Oh, right. HOW DARE YOU ACCEPT THAT PROGRAM WITHOUT TELLING ME, YOU'RE HEAD NURSE?"

"Margaret, calm down. It's not as bad as you think."

"NOT AS BAD AS I THINK? I am you're Head Nurse! I'm supposed to help you make decisions concerning my Nurses!"

"And, what would you have done if I presented you with this?"

"I would have refused! Male nurses, are fine and all, Major Burns would have been one himself, if he failed Medical School again, but still, why here? Our Nurses are a crack team! Except for a couple of stragglers, it's perfectly fine!"

"Major, this team is so good, it's become a MASH legend! General Hank wants to make sure that everyone can benefit from your status! While you're at Tokyo General, you will be preforming for every Head Nurse in Korea! Not to mention, you will get 1st class priority at the hotel of your choice!"

"What's the catch, Sir?"

"Nothing you'd you have to do. It means points for me."

"POINTS? For home?

"Yes, Major."

"You're disregarding regulations, by checking with me first, for points?"

"Yes, Major."

"How...How...How shallow of you! Where are you going?"

Henry, actually managed to finish his shower, get dressed and get out of his stall without Margaret noticing. "I'm going to my bunk. If you'd like to steam some more, you can do it in the shower in here." Then Henry leaves.

"Colonel! Colonel? Wait! Where–" She then is interrupted by a certain Major Burns.

"Margaret! I heard all of the news! I can't believe they'd do something like that! How dare th–"

"Major Burns?"

"Yes Margaret?"

"CAN IT!" In a huff, Margaret leaves, forgetting about the shower she was going to take.

Major Burns on the other hand, not getting it, asks to himself, "What did I do?"


	3. Klinger's Escape, Margaret's Farewell

1O-six hundred hours, the next day. The male nurses are coming in a few minutes, once the female nurses pass the first checkpoint, the male nurses will go past it in the other direction. Army protocols...Anyway, the Nurses are packing up and everyone's jittery.

Col. Blake , helping the Nurses pack was the most jittery. "Everyone packed up? Good!"

"Colonel! Wait for me!" Klinger comes running out of his tent, wearing his Dorothy costume , carrying a little dog and his rack of dresses.

"Klinger! How many times do I have to tell you? NO Section eights and NO outings with the Nurses!"

"Please, Sir! This maybe my only chance to get General Hank to believe, that I'm Section eight-able!"

"No Klinger! For the last time, NO!" To the Nurses he says, "Is everyone ready? Really? Good!"

Radar suddenly comes running out of his office, toward the Colonel. "Colonel? The replacement Nurses are going to be a little late, Sir!"

"Any reason Radar?"

"Apparently the MP's got suspicious because one of the new Nurses looked suspicious."

"What exactly was he doing?"

"He was saying to park the Jeep to the side instead of going through the checkpoint!"

"That's what they're supposed to do Radar!"

"You're going to need to clarify that."

"Oh, fine! Every has exactly three minutes to get ready!" Henry then goes off to take care of the Military Problems at hand. Unbeknownst to anyone until the Jeep got to Tokyo General, Klinger had already stowed some provisions incase he had to go to Plan B. Plan B was something he had already tried; stowing away in a duffel bag, but to give a little variety he chose a footlocker, his own that he snuck on when no one was looking. So when the Nurses were getting the Jeep started, Klinger had stowed away in the footlocker, with a couple of his best dresses and his little dog. Then he drilled some holes in the locker and made sure there were a few duffel bags and other footlockers were between him and the edge of the trunk so he wouldn't fall off. Then Henry came back, strangely calm.

"OK everyone! Bye! Have a good time!"

Then the Nurses start up the Jeep and leave. Henry, having put on his best smiling face to see the Nurses off, was kicking himself inside. He had told the MP's to let them stay there, although he knew that there would be more of an extensive search until the Nurses passed that checkpoint.

Hawkeye and Trapper were sleeping off there exhaustion from waiting for Frank to appear at Margaret's tent for their farewell scene. It went something like this;

Frank does his secret knock on Margaret's door that everyone knows. Although Margaret knew who was there, she still asked, "Who is it?"

Frank answered, "Me Sugarlumpkin!"

"Who's me?"

"Me is me Margaret! If I wasn't me who would I be? Certainly not you of course."

"Don't come in," Frank comes in anyway. "I told you not to come in!"

"Ohhhh, Margaret! How could hate me?"

"I don't hate you Major Burns."

"Don't call me that."

"That is your rank and his last name right?"

"Yes, but I thought this camp went on a first name basis."

"Since when did you call anyone else but me on a first name basis?"

"Since tomorrow."

"Tomorrow hasn't happened yet."

"Well, nerts to you!"

"GET OUT!"

"Why?"

"You know I hate that word."

"What?"

"GET OUT MAJOR BURNS!" Margaret then takes the lamp on her deskside and throws it at Frank.

Frank screams, "Ahhhh!" and then runs out of the tent covering his head and making way for the Swamp.

Hawkeye and Trapper who watched this, unblinking started laughing their heads off.

"AND YOU TWO! STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! " Then Margaret picks up the lamp that landed unbroken on the floor and threw it at the window, it bounced off and broke. Hawkeye and Trapper were running back to the Swamp laughing all of the way.

That was last night. Hawkeye, Trapper and Frank woke up at the same time when the Jeep that held the male nurses came sputtering in...


	4. Klinger's been FOUND

1Tokyo General, Only a ten hours after they left. The Nurses were stopped by South Koreans, who in a pack, moved southward. When they got there, Margaret wasn't all too happy.

"Nurses! Fall in!" Groaning from the Nurses only angered her further.

She was upset by the fact that the Lieutenant Colonel had ignored Army regulations and didn't take her opinion at all. The only silver lining was that a friend she had met while her family had lived at one of the many Army bases, one that she couldn't remember. Anyway, when they first met, she had made fun of him for his first name, Smith. She had thought it was an odd name, it was used as a last name after all, but his last name at least fit, Louis. Smith Louis, was a very nice man. He always knew she didn't mean it and forgave her once she knew better. The best part was, his sister, who also was named Margaret, had married General Franklin Harris Hank, the General who started the program that was at the root of her problems.

Maybe it wasn't a silver lining. He WAS after all, technically, related to this General Hank through marriage. Who was this General? He must be some new one who was also trying to score points. Then again she intended to use her friend the way she used every other Major or higher ranking male officer in the Army. He was a Colonel after all. Then there he was, that Smith Louis himself, coming over to greet them!

"Margaret!"

"Smith! How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine thank you."

"Any thing new happen, besides this?"

"Nothing else at all. You?"

"Well, I got married."

Inside, Margaret's face turned down, but she still kept smiling for her friend. "You did? Really? To who?"

"Beverly Rose."

"I always knew you'd get together. You made a great couple." She had always hated Beverly and now this added to her hate.

"Thank you Margaret. Would you like me to escort you and your Nurses to your hotel?"

"That'll be fine, thanks." And with that, Smith, Margaret and the Nurses were off to the Pink Pagoda.

Nurse Kellye, not the one to forget remembered, "Wait! We forgot our luggage!"

Margaret didn't need this, but she knew that the Nurse was right. They should get their luggage. If they didn't, it'd be stolen. "Alright, but lets hurry."

All of a sudden, there was a thumping from a footlocker. Everyone started to panic and scream, all except Nurse Baker. She opened it and SURPRISE! Out came Klinger like someone would a birthday a birthday.

Margaret not liking this either of course screamed, "KLINGER? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU IDIOT? YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED! NOT ONLY THAT, YOU WENT AWOL!

"Major, it's my chance to get out of the Army! But..."

"BUT WHAT?"

"Where's the nearest bathroom?"

"For you?"

"And my dog."

"You brought a dog? Where would we keep him?"

"I never thought of that. Where are we staying?"

"The Pink Pagoda."

Klinger grabbed his dresses and ran off, "THANK YOU! HE'LL STAY THERE!" He screamed, heading toward it. Hopefully no one will be in the men's bathroom at that time.

"That idiot!"


	5. Major Wilfred and Captain Burns

1A Jeep pulls up, the male nurses are finally here. After just waking up, Hawkeye, Trapper, and Frank are groggy, mad, and just don't want this to happen...

There are actually four jeeps, with five (two in the front, two in the back and one sitting on the trunk,) men in each. They each park in the compound, instructing Radar to go put them where they belong. Hawkeye, Trapper, and Frank, each in a robe (Frank's robe is green) and watching them get out. Henry rushes out to greet them;

Henry, looking as flustered as ever greets them with "Hello, I'm the commanding officer, Blake Henry, I, I mean Henry Black...no, I'm Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake. Who are you sirs, sirs?"

"I am Major Wilfred, the commander of my unit. These," he gestures to his men "are my men. Company! Fall in!" They fall in to one long row, he introduces them one by one, "This is; Private Jim, Private Hughs, Corporal Ryan, Corporal Warner, Corporal Sawyer, Corporal Ritter, Corporal Dominick, Corporal Logan, Corporal Jones, Corporal Smith, Sergeant Rizzo, Sergeant Burone, Sergeant Bannere, Sergeant Winster, 2nd Class Lieutenant Perey, 2nd Class Lieutenant Dickson, 2nd Class Lieutenant Lawrence, 1st Class Lieutenant Morgan, and Captain Burns.

"Well, that's a fine kit'n-caboodle you have there. How trained are you and your men?"

"We are not very trained, we have only seen broken bones, that's it."

"Well, we have nothing right now in Post-op, so you can just get settle down and get ready. Also you should get some nourishment."

Hawkeye, not resisting this jokes. "The only way to get nourishment around here is to have an olive with your martini. The olive infact, is the only good piece of food here. Luckily we just got another shipment of them. Again; STAY AWAY FROM THE MESS TENT FOOD. If you listen, it might save your life one day."

The whole unit of male nurses laughs in unison, Major Wilfred comments, "You're a very funny man, you are the next Groucho Marx. What is your name?"

"Captain Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce. You don't mind if I ask a couple of questions do you?"

"No, what?"

"First off, is this Captain Burns related to our Major?" Just as this was said, Capt. Burns notices Maj. Burns and shouts.

"Yo, cousin!"

"Charlie?"

"How are ya, Frankie?"

Hawkeye laughs at this, "Frankie?"

"Not now, Pierce. To my cousin, I am a Major, and you are a Captain, you are only allowed to call me Major."

"OK, Major Cousin."

Henry knows how to avoid a confrontation, "OK, let's get settled down and rest up, okie-dokie?"

"Before we get settled down, Colonel, what was your Captain' s second question?"

"Oh, Hawkeye what was it?"

"It was nothing."

"Nothing? You wasted our time with nothing?"

"Yes, Father."

"Alright...Dismissed."


	6. No One's Having a Good Time

1It was the fifth of the first ten of the lecture and presentation of the day, the FIRST day. It was noontime, Every lecture and presentation was about an hour, give or take a few minutes of questions (Some took longer to explain). No one was really listening; some were thinking about _I Love Lucy_, some were thinking of their husband/wife and/or their children/pet or even both, Margaret was actually _sleeping_, sleeping! The one person who takes Henry's many lectures seriously, actually is sleeping! Anyway, the presenter, noticing this decides to leave and no one notices...For hours, everyone is thinking or sleeping, no listening...Margaret's dreaming of Frank Burns, but it's a rerun of a scene from before. It's one of the worst dreams of her life.


	7. Saving a Friend

1Later, that night, Trapper noticed Hawkeye kind of sitting, kind of rocking and drinking. He went over to him and was about to talk to him but, he could tell he was deep in his own thoughts. He tried talking to him again.

"Hey, Hawk.'

Hawkeye looks at him, he's a little drunk, not too bad, "Hello Trapper John." There was something wrong with that, Hawkeye had never called him "Trapper John" it was either "Trapper" or "Trap". So he decided to find out what's wrong.

"Something wrong Hawk?" Deciding his friend might need some consoling, he sat down next to his friend.

"I'm scared, Trapper John."

"Don't call me that."

"OK, Trap, like I said I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"What's going to happen to me, to us.

"When did we start dating?" Trapper sort of smiled at his own joke.

"This is not the time for jokes, Trapper." NOW, Trapper knew something was wrong, Hawkeye never said something like that unless something was really wrong.

"What exactly are you afraid of?"

"I know the Nurses are only gone for a week, but I haven't been with out a Nurse or a girl on R&R for at least three days. Even when the Nurses have bugged out, it was only for a few days."

"I'm not worried," Trapper lied, he was starting to wonder about this himself. Ever since he came to this hellish place he wasn't without a Nurse or girl for too long. But, Trapper realized, there IS a way to get a girl; by going on R&R. There were a few problems; he doubt Henry would let Hawkeye and himself go together after what happened last time and then, what about Henry himself? He was going to suffer too. He quickly discarded the idea, why save himself if his friends were going to suffer anyway?

"Trapper?"

"Hmm?"

"You may not be worried, but are you scared?"

"Yes, Hawkeye I am."

"What about Henry? Should we check on him?"

Again, Trapper had to lie in order to protect his friend from letting himself suffer with other people. If either Henry or himself suffered longer than Hawkeye, his mind will make him believe that he's still suffering and suffer even longer. So he said, "No Hawkeye, he didn't have sex with the Nurses as much as ourselves so I don't think so."

"Are you sure, Trapper?"

He had the greatest urge to say no but, he couldn't, "Yes I am totally sure."

"I'm going to bed."

"You can go do that Hawkeye, you look beat."

"You don't look like Prince Charming yourself either, Trap." Then they walked into the Swamp, their temporary home. A temporary home, temporary arrangements, temporary sleep, living temporarily in this country he barely heard of before, being temporarily drunk, temporary people, and temporary switched that the Army makes. These things Hawkeye didn't like, too many temporary things for his taste. He kept this to himself although, not wanting to worry Trapper.

"Good night, Hawkeye."

"Good night, Trapper."


	8. Klinger's Worries

1_A/N: I've tried to write in different styles. Which one do you like best? Did I mention reviews are welcome?_

I had nothing to do. My dog and I were just sitting in a dark room, eating vanilla ice cream, wearing my black evening and doing nothing. All I did all day was nothing, unless you count talking to my dog.

Man, that footlocker was cramped, I didn't know how long I could take it. At one point, it seemed like the Jeep was going in little jerks, I nearly got sick from that. All I packed was a sandwich and a little dog food. I didn't realize that it would take ten hours to get to Tokyo. I mean it's only a few countries over, how long could it take? At times I slept, at times I played with my dog, and then at times I thought of Toledo. It's all most been a year since I got drafted. I can't believe my parents just had to make sure I wasn't the only child. I had siblings and that was the only reason I am here; if I died, someone could still take of my parents or take care of the family business or something. Well, that wasn't really the ONLY reason, I did have a choice between the Army or jail. At the time, I thought it would be an adventure, a chance to cheaply see the world, a short sentence. My uncle's got out of the Army by dressing in dresses, why couldn't I? Isn't there a saying 3rd times the charm? Or is it reversed when you were successful the first two times? Or were my uncle's commanders stupid? Or had the Army wised up to our family tradition? Now I've become desperate. I've actually gone AWOL. I might face a Court Marshal if I'm caught. If I'm gone for a month that becomes desertion. What will happen then? Will have to run away to a different country? Could I go all the way to Lebanon? Could change my name and lead a new life and forget? I don't think so. What should I do? Call the Colonel and apologize? Ask for R&R for the rest of the time? I think I will, but not now...

If I had to choose all over again, I'd be undecided first. Then I'd weigh the choices unlike I stupidly hadn't done before. The Army may offer free travel around the world and a free place to stay, but why should I face death and be afraid of it everyday? On the other hand, prison had to offer a room, but I might have to pay a fine. So it's not a free room. I also had to face death, but without guns. If I got out, I would get caught and then I would be brought back right where I started with a longer sentence. I got pay in the Army, but I would have less enemies in prison. What would I choose? I still don't know and I hope I never will.


	9. The Nightmare

1"Sutures," said a tired Hawkeye. He had been in the OR for five hours. Normally, that would seem light compared to what they normally face, usually over a days worth but, he never slept after last night nor did he intend too until he was ready to fall. The patients were still piling up and yet, he was on his fifth patient. He was slowing down for some reason, maybe he was really tired.

"Sure, Hawk."

"Trap? Why are you assisting me?"

"I'm not Trap," Hawkeye then turned for a moment and saw that it was Captain Burns.

"Why are you calling me Hawk?"

"Because I saw your friend call you it. Say, do you want to come to my cot and discus today's events?"

"Huh?"

"You know, what you and Trap do every night. Share a cot, play the 'Bug and the French Fry'?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm a homosexual."

"What?"

"I am."

"And you considered me one?"

"Yes, Captain." That did it. Already being tired, he didn't need much to make him fall down and the shock of a homosexual asking him if he was one? Obviously he never heard the stories. Hawkeye all of a sudden felt woozy, and then he simply fell down, asleep.

"Corpsman! Get Pierce on a bed right now!"

"Yes, Sir!"

All through that day, he slept and he dreamt. In his dreams he thought; How could he do that? How could he let his guard down? He had nothing against homosexuals, but how could he let that shock him so much? After all he's seen, that brought him down? He thought there was nothing funny about this situation, until he realized something; this man was related to Frank.

Suddenly Hawkeye woke up, it was morning. Right away he realized that he had dreamt this scenario, all that remained was the question., why?


	10. It Just got a LOT Worse

1"Margaret," said a certain Col. Smith Lewis, "How are you?" He came walking down the hall to her room as she was going in her room.

"Smith, I'm fine. You?"

"Perfect," He met her at her door. "Are you going to your room?"

"Yes I am. I had a long day of conferences and learning stuff I already know. So, I think I'm entitled to a good night's rest."

"Would you like some company?"

"Sure," she gives this a thought, "But no funny stuff!" She opens the door and lets him in first. Surprisingly enough the lights are already on. Also surprising, someone is already in there.

"Major Houlihan, Colonel Lewis. Long time no see." It was Flagg. Yes, the famous guy that we all know and love from what he calls, "The CIB" or "Central Intelligence Bureau". Not the CIA, CID or CIC as he said before. Of course no one else knows.

The Major, as it turns out just went out for about ten minutes to get some towels, but she couldn't find any. "Flagg? How did you get in here? I was just here!"

Col. Lewis had never had the pleasure of meeting Flagg before, "Margaret, who is he?"

"Col. Flagg, from the CI-something or other."

"I've been expecting you Major. I had to wait until just the right time in here, to see you."

"SEE ME? YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?"

"Ever since you got here."

"AND YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING ME CHANGE? YOU PERVERTED DEGENERATE! GET OUT!"

"Colonel, what is this about?" asked Smith as he tried to take authority.

"Don't play stupid. I do it better."

"Sir?"

"Alright. But NONE of you ever repeat any of this, okie-dokie?"

"OK, whatever." The Major said annoyed.

"We've been getting strange reports about a semi-dark skinned man wearing dresses and looking like a big nose, staring out the window. The window is in one of the rooms your Nurses are in."

"Klinger!" Margaret muttered.

"Who, Major?"

"One of our corpsman."

"If I'm right, this section of the hotel is ONLY for your Nurses whom are FEMALE right?"

"Right." Margaret said, not wanting to lie.

"So he has gone AWOL, right?"

"Well...um...uhh..." Margaret stammered, wanting to say 'No' but not wanting to lie.

"What do you say if we go talk to this...Klinger. Shall we?"


	11. Dear Diary

1_O-seven hundred hours. _

_Dear Diary,_

_Radar just blew his bugle for the first time an hour ago and we just broke up. There was a lot of stuff concerning the male nurses. I don't understand why Henry had to do this, I miss the Nurses. They were all so nice and well-rounded. After what happened last night, I went for asleep for a while, then I dreamt. Its's to horrid to tell you, Diary. I'm going to suffer withdrawal symptoms, which will be horrid, and I don't want to sleep again. What if I dream that dream a gain. Margaret means too much to me, why did she have to leave? IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR! IT' NOT FAIR! _

_Now my cousin is here. He was the weirdest one of us all. Even though another cousin of mine, Beverly, married a Colonel, she married a Colonel named SMITH. Who names their child Smith? Then have a last name Lewis? I can't make ANY horse sense of any of it. This is to weird. Why can't the war close down once in a while? Lord knows I was sarcastic when I said I was a doctor at the draft board, and they believed me! How can I be a doctor when I should be a foot soldier, supporting McCarthy and fighting the Reds? IT'S NOT FAIR!_

_Franklin Marion Burns, signing off. _


	12. A Second Subplot Opens up

1I can't believe I'm here. I'm only in for a few more days, but what did I do wrong? I was dismissed of the charges, but Frank had something to do with this I'm sure. The stockade. It's not pretty, it's filled with inept surgeons, black market folks, womanizers, thieves, cooks who served infested items to the men (mainly Generals), perverts (almost the same as a womanizer without the sex, or with little sex), and many other things. This place is almost like the 4077th, but without the humor and the genius. I do try to tell myself, "It's going to be OK Sidney," but it doesn't help. All I did was give Frank some advice. I said, "Why don't you tell your wife about what you do with the Nurses here?" Then the next thing I know, I get slapped with a Court Marshall. This is going to affect my record, I know it is, and it always will. When I get back to my patients, they won't trust me like they did. One guy, Larry, he had moved from Oregon temporarily, to go to school some more. He said he'd go back once he had some money. Luckily, he made a friend but, he always referred to the man as Mr. Drummond. Wait, a guard is coming. Luckily the head makes a great journal;

"Mr. Freedman?"

"Yes, sir?"

The guard opens the door, "You're free to go. General Hammond heard your story and he freed you right away. Get your stuff, you're outta here."

"Thank you." Then I picked up my stuff and left, a free man. How lucky I am.

_A/N: I'm a little stuck here. I know what I want to do a little later, but for now I'm a little stuck._


	13. A Slowly Advacing Plot but Trouble Comes

1Klinger, was writing in his diary when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" he called.

"Charlie Chaplin," Klinger knew this wasn't Chaplin. He couldn't place the voice, but he knew it wasn't Chaplin. He opened the door, and much to his amazement Col. Flagg was there along with a worried Major Houlihan and the Col. guy she was with.

"Flagg?"

"Hello Corporal. We know all about you. Wait until the guys at Tony Packo's hear about this!"

"Sir?"

"I know you've gone AWOL. Now you can spill the beans of I'll have you shot for desertion."

Great, he knew. No thanks to the Major and her friend the Colonel. But wait! There was a way out of this!

"Colonel, what if I call my commanding officer and prove to you that I have permission?"

"Alright, you do that."

"Good."

"Wait, that's what you want me to let you do isn't it? Both of us know it won't be your commanding officer on the phone, just you band of commies who sound like him. But wait, that's what you want me to think isn't? You should call your commanding officer. I'd like to talk to him, and tell him what's been going on."

"Sure thing." Then Klinger picked up the phone and began to dial...


	14. Flashbacks

1_A/N: Thanks, LLR for_ _the idea! It's Frank's POV this time._

I sat there, alone, as always. The two Captains were working their shifts, McIntyre in the Supply Room and Pierce in Post-Op. I look over at their still and think to myself and think 'What the heck? Why not try some?' So I went over and it was ready to be tapped. So I tapped it into a martini glass, which I cleaned with my uniform (always clean), I took a sip and I threw it back up, that and my breakfast. What am I going to do now? I never drank their before and now I know that I am lucky I didn't. It tasted worse than the time Margaret forgot to wash her neck.

Suddenly, I heard them coming. So I jumped into my bed with a medical magazine (hopefully I'll learn more technique to impress everyone some more) and began to read how to do simple operations. This week it was 'Setting Broken Bones'. Great! I've been waiting for that one. Uh-oh, they're coming in.

"Hi, Frank."

"Hello, Frank."

"Never you mind!" Hopefully I've made them laugh inside.

Hawkeye immediately smelled the bile and I did what I could to deny it.

"Ewww! What's that smell?"

"I believe that's bile, Hawk.

"Who would–" Suddenly, he knew who it was. "Frank are you OK?"

"Yes, I feel fine why?"

"Is that your bile by any chance?"

"That's none of your business, Mr. Jokes-a-lot!" Hopefully I impresses them that time.

Trap (I hope I can call him that now) noticed that I've gotten some bile on the glass. "Hawk, it was him. Look." He handed him the glass. Hawk, (Is that OK?) Panicked and dropped the glass and it shattered on the still's table. Suddenly, he turned to me, glaring.

"You know we don't you taking our stuff. How would you like it if we read your Bible?"

"I did not use your glass."

"Frank?"

"Yea, Hawk? (God, did I say that out loud)"

"GET OUT! NEVER CALL ME HAWK YOU NERTS!" Suddenly he was searching for something, a weapon? He ripped a drawer out of the still's table then he turned and threw it at me. I tried running but, it hit me on the head and I got knocked out cold.

I was having a flashback of some kind, back to a time when I was a kid hanging out with Charlie;

We were on the swings, he was talking to me, I don't know about what but, all of a sudden he started mooning me! (Well, he was the weird one of the family.) Then he pulled his pants back up and we went inside the house (it was my aunt's). I saw it then, the best cake you could ever have; Vanilla cake with chocolate frosting!

It was unique, she used a yellow cake recipe but added vanilla to it. Then she made brownies, and she would put some water in a bowl (not a lot so it'd be watery but enough so it's not too thick) Then she would mash the brownies in there and it became this half bread, half liquid kind of thing. Then she would put it over the fire in the fireplace for an minute and presto! It was frosting! The best frosting ever! I decided that I could try the frosting from the cake, just a bit. So I started to smeared my finger through it and suddenly my head hurt.

It was my father, drunk and he saw me taking some frosting. I would basically live I Hell for the rest of the night then. He would take me into the dinning room and take off his belt. HE would make me take off my pants and shirt and starting hitting me!

It wasn't like I wasn't used to it. I got beatings practically everyday! But, this time was different, I was hit on my; backside, back, stomach, arms, legs, and sometimes even my head! This only happened if I did something REALLY bad. Not if I forgot to feed the dog or tripped in public, (I was clumsy) but if I broke a window or talked back.

I looked to the guests, pleading for their help but, they shook their heads 'no'. Then I started to cry, which made my father beat me harder. "No crybabies in the Burns family" he would always say. Charlie was laughing, making me laugh harder, making my dad hit me harder!

Nobody likes or have ever liked me!


	15. Sidney Relaxes at the 4077th

1Sidney, was on his way to the 4077th. The place had always relaxed him, with the jokes and all, so what better time to visit? He had just passed the checkpoint a minute or two ago and he was just entering the camp. He was greeted by a Captain Pierce, in his bathrobe, and looking a little tired.

"Sidney! Hello!"

Sidney wasn't sure about this greeting, he knew Capt. Pierce and knew that he always had something up our sleeve, so he just said; "Hawkeye! Hello! Anything new?"

"Well, the Nurses are away for a week."

"So, nothing new?"

"No not really. Say, what are you doing here?"

Sidney hadn't been more prepared for what he was about to say; "Well after facing a Court Marshall brought on by Major Burns, which he paid for by the way, I was thrown in the stockade on some technicality. Then after meeting all of the _lovely_ people, I was let out, only to be literally thrown out on the street by the jail guards. My suitcase had nearly been run over because the guards threw it in the street. I then called cab, got to the nearest Army base, traded some expensive silver for a Jeep, only to have the Jeep suffer from a breakdown. Then I managed to get over to the 8063rd, and managed to get five bucks for the Jeep, and then I hired an oxen cart and his driver to drive me here.

On the way, I found an unused Jeep and paid the oxen driver. I then drove the Jeep here with what's left of my clothes and am standing here talking to you now about what happened to me on the way here, which is what I am talking about now, which I'm done with...about now."

Hawkeye tried to stifle a giggle, unsuccessfully, "Frank actually threw you in the stockade?"

"That's not what surprises me. What surprises me, is the fact that some actually owes Frank. Knowing him, I thought he would have hanged someone before letting them give him something he doesn't have."

"Hey, you want a drink?"

"Sure." They stepped inside and found Trapper, already having a drink and Frank, laying on the floor, out cold.

Trapper greeted; "Hey Sidney. What's new?" After explaining the whole thing to Trapper, Trap kind of half laughed, half fell out of his chair, drunk but, managed to utter; "He," pointing to Frank, "did that?"

"Yes." For some reason, that sent Hawkeye and Trapper into uncontrollable laughter, only to be interrupted by the P.A.;

"Alright everyone! Hell defrosted, we've got lots of wounded, ripe for the picking!" That sent Trapper to sobering up quickly. Infact, Hawkeye, Sidney, and himself, answered with a resounding;

"Damn." Major Burns, half-conscious said; "Wait for me! I'm coming!"


	16. A Flagg Phone Call

1It was a long shot, and Klinger knew that the odds were against him. Either Henry or Radar would probably pick up the phone, well Radar would if Henry couldn't. He dialed the number and hoped but, someone had answered;

"MASH 4077th." It was Radar. Klinger maybe able to think of some way to get Radar to not tell the Lieutenant Colonel. When does Henry do patrol after all?

"Hello? Radar?"

Radar knew Klinger had been missing, but he didn't have the heart to tell the Colonel. "Klinger? Where are you?"

"In Tokyo!"

"Tokyo? TOKYO? You leave us for Tokyo?" Then he makes that angry huffing noise that he does when he's mad. "How did you even get there?"

Klinger told then told Radar what had happened. Unfortunately Radar didn't take it well.

"I knew I should have checked that Jeep again. Wait, let me get the Colonel."

Klinger felt like he was getting a death sentence, "NO! Wait! Radar...Hello! Colonel!"

"Klinger. I sent the Nurses out a few days ago, and I just find out that one of my men went with them? From my Corporal, Company Clerk?"

"Sir, I apologize. I'm sorry. At the time, I needed a break and you wouldn't let me go!"

"Klinger, you can't go running away every time I say 'No'! I need you!"

"Sir, I know, but I was practically crazy with rage from your answer!"

"Again, you can't go and run off every time I said 'No'."

"Uh, Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"Col. Flagg wants to talk to you." With a smile, Klinger handed the phone to Flagg and said; "He's all yours!"

"Flagg? That Joker? I can't stand that guy! Why did...Hello! Colonel! I didn't uh realize that you were listening."

"Don't worry Colonel, it's natural for people to say that about Central Intelligence people."

"Flagg, what are you doing there?"

"My name's not Flagg! It's Captain Halloran."

"Didn't you use that name already once Colonel?"

"It's Captain!"

"Captain, Sir?"

"Yes, Captain!"

Henry was confused by this, he thought it was Colonel. How did his rank change to Captain? Huh, CI-something people. What's with the aliases?

"Uh, Colo-I mean Captain?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Sidney Freed-"

"NO! Not that Joker! I can't stand talking to him!" With that, the Captain or Colonel (or whatever) hung up the phone and left with a huff. Klinger half smirked and said;

"I guess interrogation is over."

Margaret and Smith just stood there, confused, starring at eachother, then at Klinger, then at the phone, then back eachother.


	17. How Rizzo Stayed at Camp

"Rosie! Another beer here!" Trapper, Hawkeye, Henry, and Sgt. Rizzo were sitting at Rosie's for drinks. The four of them were equally drunk and couldn't keep from laughing. Oddly enough, they were playing some kind of echo game.

Rosie hands Hawkeye his beer, "Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks."

She hand Trapper his beer, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Henry gets his, "Thanks, Rosie but I think I'm already drunk enough. Thanks, Rosie but I think I'm already drunk enough. Thanks, Rosie but I think I'm already drunk enough."

And Rizzo, "Thanks, woman, thanks woman." Then, unceremoniously, the game ends.

Hawkeye, Trapper, and Henry had a little conversation with Rizzo that went something like this;

Hawkeye starts off, "Rizzo, what's your first name?"

"Luther."

"Well, Luther, how would like to stay here permanently?"

Henry questions, "What, what do you mean Per-Pierceintyre?"

Trapper answers, "I-I think he wants Lu to stay."

"Lu?"

"It-it's a nickname."

"Oh."

Now Hawkeye delivers his pitch, "I think we need someone like you around here, a male nurse."

"Well, Captain, IF I was to stay here, I wouldn't want to be no male nurse."

Henry doesn't really know what's going on, "Oh, I see. What would you like to be?"

"I wanna run the Motor Pool."

Hawkeye accepts that, "What do you say Henry?"

"I say, 'He better get his papers.'"

"Isn't that what Radar is for?"

"Oh, r-right."

Before Henry was able to say anymore, Radar came in. "Yes, Sir?"

"Radar! Oh..."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Could you, could you get this Sergeant here a transfer here?"

"Right away, Sir. I'll start the process."

"Th-thanks, Radar."

And that's how Rizzo came to the 4077th.


	18. Thoughts of a Convicted Madman

1Obviously, I had flown out of there like a madman. They already think I'm nuts, I mean I'd break my own arm to keep a secret after all! They must think that I'm crazy. Me, Samuel Flagg.

Of course, Sam Flagg isn't my real name. It's actually Raymond Morgan. I was a convict for years, if I had been convicted of robbery once more, I might have been sent to Alcatraz. I had escaped and changed my name, to make it sound more patriotic, Sam Flagg is reminiscent to Uncle Sam and the Flag but, not just that. Anyway, I had started a successful business of my own but, now I can barely remember what it was about. Then, while at a party, I met a Sam Flagg. He and I became best friends. It turned out he was working for the, then newly formed, CIA. We went up on the roof for some fresh air and he had a heart attack. I knew enough to check his pulse, and there was nothing. He was dead. Or was he? Or had that stuff even happened? What if I imagined that stuff? Sometimes I think that I need a psychiatrist.

Chicago, my hometown. Or a least I think it is, is my favorite city. I love all of the little, quaint restaurants, and the Loop. My favorite thing although, was the lake. Lake Michigan. It's beautiful, majestic, cresting waves inside it's beautiful, blue, crystal clear water. I can't believe how cool it is.

Well, it's been a nice time talking to myself but, I've arrived at the 4077th. The best place in Korea.

Man, do I need help.


	19. Morale, Withdrawal, and Jokes

1When I entered this camp, I knew the morale was low, but this is bad. Most of the men seem to be suffering from withdrawal symptoms. The constant attacks seem to be getting worse. The men seem to always need to be at the latrine. Their pants...well, let's just say that they've been at the cleaners more often. The still has been broken multiple times. Strangely, the Army has made large glass bowls a requirement. Unfortunately, we ran out of them within the first day that the withdrawal symptoms. We've now resorted to using Radar's large fishbowl for the still.

Being a psychiatrist, I have no need for this but, the Nurses are coming back soon. I'm not sure how this is going to work out, they are still suffering, and having the Nurses back might cure them. Then again, by then, it might be so advanced, that they wouldn't want anything to do with the Nurses. I've seen withdrawal symptoms before but, never this bad. They seem to LIKE rocking themselves back and forth but, that's not what's most common. The attacking is. We don't know whether to call the Nurses back or go around wearing pillows and helmets all day. There has been so much wood broken here, that we've been setting the broken wood on fire every night. Col. Blake has gone through three desks, this way. Radar is constantly being treated for bruises, cuts, scrapes, and once, someone broke his glasses. This is on account of the fact that he delivers the mail, jokes around, goes to the latrine, and even for walking by.

Now other than that, Frank has been a his 'jokes' again. He's put water in the still instead of alcohol, switched the dirty and clean laundry, and somehow managed to park a Jeep in the OR... We would have thought Hawkeye had done it, but with Frank's laughter we knew it was him. Hawkeye got him back of course, he had hanged Frank from the loudspeaker poll from is boxer shorts, made Frank's cot collapse, replace Frank's salt shaker with the sugar for his eggs, and the sugar and the salt for his coffee. This has just been a normal few days at the 4077th, of course with the added withdrawal symptoms.


	20. What Happened? What's Going on?

1"Henry! Where are they?" Hawkeye and Trapper burst through Henry's office shouting at the top of their lungs.

Henry was annoyed by this, his two best doctors barging in on him for no reason. "Pierce, they're supposed to be here at noon. What time it now?"

Trapper and Hawkeye say at the same time; "Noon."

"Oh...well,–"

Radar knew he was about to be called on, as always ? "Yes, Sir?"

"Radar! Oh..."

"Yes, Sir?"

Then in double talk; Henry, "Call Tokyo and get General Hank on the phone to see what's going on with our Nurses!"

Radar, "I'll go get General Hank on the phone and see what's going on with our Nurses."

Now Radar starts the LONG process (to him) of getting information. "Hello, Sparky? Yeah, can you get Tokyo? You can? Great." Now this was easier than usual. Hopefully it will all go this smoothly. "Hello Tokyo? Is there a General Hank there? You'll patch me through to his secretary? Oh, good." Alright! This is going very well. No arguments or anything.

"Hello? General Hank's secretary."

"Hello? Can you patch me through to General Hank?"

"I'm sorry, General Hank is at a lecture right now, you may be able to get him there. Let me switch you to the Tokyo switchboard. They might able to get him."

Now things hit a snag. Maybe it'll be fixed. Radar hoped so. "Hello Tokyo? Can you patch me through to General Hank? You're getting his secretary? No! Wait!... Hello? Is General Hank there?"

"As I told you before, the General isn't here right now. The Tokyo switchboard will be able to help you."

"Wait! No! I just was there!...Hello Tokyo? Can you patch me through to General Hank? No! Don't switch me to General Hank's secretary! Ohh!" And with that, he slammed down the phone and left in a huff to go tell the Lieutenant Colonel what happened.

But one question remained; What happened?


	21. Even her Friends Can't Resist

1"What do you mean we're not going back yet?" An angered Margaret asked.

"General Hank scheduled some more lectures." replied Smith. They were alone in Margaret's room as soon as Margaret heard the bad news.

"MORE lectures? Those lectures are stupid! We already know what they're talking about! We're the most advanced unit in Korea it seems like!"

"I know Margaret, I know. I don't like it as well."

"Well, what can we do?"

"I don't know, the General doesn't like to change his mind."

"'DOESN'T LIKE TO CHANGE HIS MIND'? How dare you tell me that? I need to go bak to my unit and I can't because of some General's decision that you can't change, even though you're family?"

"Margaret–"

"What about Corporal Klinger? He's technically AWOL here! Who knows how much longer he can stay without something bad happening to him? Thank God that Major Burns isn't here, he would have Klinger arrested right away!"

"Wouldn't you?" Smith replied back, smugly. He knew about her and the other Major. EVERYONE knew, everyone except Frank's wife Louise of course.

"What's that supposed to mean?"Obviously, Margaret was confused, she didn't know that ANYONE knew about her affair at all.

"Nothing."

"You expect me to listen to those lectures for God knows how long, while you just sit back and watch us suffer?" Margaret was referring to the fact that Smith himself had got out of the lectures by complaining.

"Well...there is one thing you can do to convince me to go complain."

"What's that?" Margaret asked, oblivious to Smith's soliciting.

"You know..."

Suddenly, Margaret figured it out, "Absolutely not! We're old friends!"

"Exactly! We know each other's weaknesses and strengths. We're practically married."

"But we're not, at least not together."

"Well, I'm married and you're not. It's that simple."

"No it's not! I don't want to be in trouble with your wife by having an affair with you!"

"Don't you already do that with Major Burns?" He got Margaret and they both knew it. If she could do it with Frank, why couldn't she do it with him?

"That's different! Major Burns is...is..." She couldn't think of anything. In a lot of ways, Frank, Smith, Hawkeye, General Hammond, and everyone else had similarities, but Frank was so willing, so desperate, she couldn't say 'no'. For a while, she thought she really loved him, but lately she had been thinking that it was getting old with him. It was the same every week, and sometimes with intervals. She knew she had to move on, but Smith was not the one to move on with.

"Is like me?"

"Yes!...and no. Let's just drop it OK? We'll stay. Just tell me, as soon as possible, when we can leave OK?"

"Fine." And with that, he left, leaving Margaret to think about this whole situation, throughly.


	22. Assult and Yelling

1It was getting worse, the way things were going at the 4077th it seemed as if that if wounded came, everything would fall apart.

Sidney had taken refuge in a secret hut behind Rosie's Bar, across the street. Flagg wasn't helping, he seemed to be making it worse with his games. Fortunately enough, he 'disappeared' as reported by Radar.

Henry was under his desk, at this point, in a fetal position, sucking his thumb. He could only think of Nurse Able and her breasts...but he was un-able to take command at this moment, Frank couldn't take it because he was currently in Post-Op with head wounds caused by Hawkeye and Trapper when he tried to be 'nice' to the two again.

Hawkeye and Trapper couldn't take command because they refused too. They constantly slept, only to get up to go to the latrine, and after they returned, they would fight eachother. The fighting was minor, but a lot of things were damaged; Hawkeye's cot was on the ground, the sill was _again_ broken, the back wall and the roof of the Swamp were ruined, and the rats were dead.

Now we go back to Henry when he gets out from under his desk,

Poor Radar, he wouldn't dare go into Henry's office after what he did to him only minutes before. Even if Henry truly needed him, he wouldn't go in there until the Nurses came back. Here's why;

"Yes Sir?" Radar said, coming through Henry's office doors before he was called again.

"Radar...Radar! Why the hell can't you wait until I call you?" Henry got up from under his desk to get a bottle of un-opened scotch. He had been drinking a lot lately and it turned him into a monster, but at this point it wasn't drunk, it was his natural mood at that time. It scared Radar right out of his wool hat and his glasses.

"Sir, I'm sorry–" Radar started out.

"NO! You will listen to me BEFORE you come in. It annoys the HELL out of me that you know what I'm thinking before I think it," he then takes a big swig of scotch, "And another thing, stop drilling holes in the Nurse's showers! It's perverted and wrong! It's also been the most damned frequent complaint they've been giving me!" He pauses to drink some more.

"I'm sorry sir, I'll also stop listening to your phone calls."

"And another thing...THERE YOU GO AGAIN! You little runt, You little DUSTMITE! YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH! STOP IT! AND ANOTHER THING, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE, NOW!"

"Sir–"

"NOW, PRIVATE! NOW!" Henry finishes the scotch in three big gulps.

"But Sir! I'm a Corporal!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GLAD I'M NOT YOUR FATHER! IF I WAS, I'D BEAT YOU UNTIL YOUR BUTT WAS BLUE! ANOTHER THING, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BUST YOU DOWN TO PRIVATE!"

"But, Sir!"

"Out, O'Rielly! NOW!"

"Sir!" replied an almost sobbing Radar.

"You're going to CRY now you little crybaby? You better get the hell out before I do something I regret!"

"Colonel!" Radar tried one more time, trying to reason with Henry.

"THAT'S IT!" Henry picked up the now empty scotch bottle and tossed it at Radar's head. It only missed because Radar ducked as he exited, sobbing, as the bottle crashed and broke on the door.

What else was there for Radar to do but sob at his desk? Nothing he could think of. So that's what he did, well into the middle of the night. Henry never checked to see if he was alright.

It was too bad that Henry accidentally knocked the PA announcer onto a stack of papers on his desk, turning it on, only seconds before Radar came in, therefore making everybody in the camp listen to that.

At least Sidney was already there.


	23. Klinger's Gone Again

1Another week went by, Margaret wasn't in the best mood of her life. Infact, she was acting like a bear cut off from his honey supply. It wasn't from withdrawal, no, it was from the increasing simpleness of the lectures that were being presented. Most of them were now about setting broken bones, preforming massages (a standard at the 4077th), sanitation and the sterilization of hospital tools, efficiency and response to demands from the doctors (in the hospital of course), and etc. Plus her ex-friend, Smith, wasn't even lifting a finger to help. He barely attending those things any more because he claimed that he had other stuff to do (he was now the closest geisha's best customer).

It had been awhile since she saw Klinger. She assumed that he was hiding out from Flagg, but she never saw him go outside so she had to check for herself. The day was finally almost over and she was bored and since there was nothing else to do, she went to see how he was.

She went up to the door and knocked. Nothing. She tried again, louder. Nothing. Then she kicked the door down. Since her father was an Army man, she had learned a few things from him and along with kicking doors, windows, etc. down, and things like that.

She looked inside the room, and she didn't see anything, so she turned on the light. Everything was neat and tidy. No trace of Klinger and his dog was to be had.


	24. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

1Hawkeye woke up. It was ten days after the Nurses were supposed to be back. Nothing. No phone calls to explain why, no letters or telegrams, even Frank didn't get anything. All Hawkeye knew though, was that he couldn't take it anymore. He needed some to cuddle with, someone to be close to. He needed it NOW.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he shouted.

He started to pack, all-the-while shouting that he couldn't take it anymore. No one bothered to get up, they were all like him, they couldn't take it anymore, but they were all to lazy to get out of bed to do something about it. Even Radar wasn't surprised that this happened.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he kept on shouting.

No one was even surprised or even tried to stop him, when he took a Jeep, put his stuff in it, and took off with it. He was determined to get them back, or at least get some answers.

He kept shouting, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" all the way.

He blew the check points, dodged the MP's, drove around the locals, all for the Nurses. He was obviously out of his mind, they all were. They had relations long enough to get like that. You couldn't believe what they did for activities now. Sleeping was the major event around here, followed by excessive drinking, then the daily fighting, then the ordering of new furniture and things, and etc. Hawkeye only did number one, two, and three. Four was for Radar.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

He passed Seoul, he didn't even think about taking a plane, he was so mad. If anyone tried to stop him, he would run them over, metaphorically. All the way, though, he kept saying to himself;

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"


End file.
